Procrastination

I think that I've always been somewhat of a leave it until the last minute kind of gal, but this is getting ridiculous. I just haven't been able to bring myself to work on my essay to apply to OHSU. It's due on January 15th, so I still have some time, but I wanted to get it done before the next term starts and as the winter break is cruising along way too fast, so is my inability to sit down and actually work on writing the thing.

I did have one session of brainstorming, which went ok. But I need to do another session or 2 of more brainstorming and then actually get to writing it. I think I'm a little intimidated by the one page limit that I must cram the answer to four, count them four, questions. I hope it's ok to single space because that's what I'll be doing. But come on Cheryl...lets get a move on!

Maybe I need to think of some kind of reward that I can give myself after I finish the application. But then again, getting into school would be a huge reward so that I would be able to move forward towards a new career and get out of having to wake up at the butt crack of dawn and go listen to depressed and suicidal people talk about their misery. Now that I think of it, I think I'm feeling a bit motivated to write... but now I have to go to bed so it will have to wait until tomorrow.

Nursing or PA?

Lately I've been having a lot more doubt about whether I want to pursue nursing or being a physician's assistant. In thinking about nursing, I've always had the goal of moving towards nurse practitioner. I like the idea of having that level of knowledge and responsibility, and hey, the money is appealing as well. But more and more people have been talking with me about PA and the prospect sounds interesting. I was talking with my mother about it, since she's a nurse practitioner, and she said that PA is more technical than NP. The other difference is the amount of schooling. I would have to do the 18 months of accelerated BSN, then 2 (or more) years to become a NP. PA school, while super intense, is 2 years. I would have to take the GRE though to get in, and to go the nursing route I wouldn't have to take it until I got the NP part, and I'm not totally certain that it's required for that.

I think I'm going to go ahead and apply for OHSU's accelerated BSN, then see if I get in. If I don't, I'll have more time to look into different options. If I do get in, well then I'll have to decide what I want to do sooner rather than later.

Finals week results

Well it's over. I made it through the fall semester and while I haven't gotten the *official* word on my Human Development grade, I'm about 99.9% sure that I got an A which means I got A's in both my classes this term! I worked my ass off for my Anatomy/Physiology grade and all that work finally paid off. I was kind of nervous midway through the term, but was able to turn things around and do well. I have to say that it was the hardest class I have ever taken in my life. Next term I'll do the 3rd term of A&P and then I'll be done with that requirement. Don't get me wrong...it's all super interesting stuff that I'm enjoying learning, it's just hard with the pressure of wanting to get an A to be competitive in the application process for school.

Speaking of school, I'm thinking more and more about Physician's Assistant school instead of nursing. It's a super up and coming field and would be really interesting work with a good deal of responsibility. The only thing I don't know about is if my crisis line experience would count as medical experience in the application process. I guess I'll have to talk with someone at one of the schools to find out.

Work is getting to be so taxing on my spirit these days. I don't know if it's because of the holidays that everyone is freaking out, but the calls I've been getting these past couple of weeks have been super intense. I just don't have the energy to give to people anymore like I used to. It's hard because I'm trying to leave this field that I'm in now, but have to stay in it for now to pay my bills. I find that I just don't give a shit about the majority of the people who call in. Perhaps this is self protection against the stress of the work? Hard to say, but it's really hard to drag my ass out of bed at 3:30AM to do the early bird shift at this job. I keep telling myself, "but I can knit in between calls"! But this is getting to be not enough to compensate for the misery I have to hear 32 hours per week. And I just picked up a bunch of shifts over the holiday break to make money to pay my tuition in January. Why can't I just win the lottery? Oh yeah, maybe it's because I never buy any lottery tickets!

Finals time

OK everyone...I'm in the middle of finals so that's why there's been no posts and won't be any more other than this super short one. I'll be done with all my school related stuff at the end of this week and then you can look forward to vacation time musings about where to apply to school, timelines for applying, my registration nightmare with Nutrition 225, what's going to happen next semester, and how I'm staying sane through all this.

Keep on moving forward

On days like today, I wonder if I'm going to be able to work this job throughout my pre-reqs until I'm able to start a full time program and just live off student loans. "Black Friday"(what an annoying name!) is one of the busiest days of the year at my job. Most of the accounts that we answer for are closed, and so we get all the calls. While there's not a ton of clinical work to do (all the lonely people called in yesterday), the call volume is really intense. I worked for 8 hours and unless I was on one of my breaks or lunch, I was non-stop answering the phone.

When there are calls waiting to be answered because there isn't a counselor available, a little light flashes on our phones and sometimes there's a bell that rings. The bell part all depends on who the supervisor is at the time. So I can be talking to someone and I keep seeing the little light flashing telling me that when I get off that call, that I'll be expected to very quickly answer another one because someone, or several someones, are waiting on hold. It makes a stressful job even more stressful.

While my employer in some ways tries to really appreciate the employees, there is still an unspoken pressure to take more calls, often at the expense of the counselors' mental health. I mean like yesterday they brought in Thanksgiving day dinner for everyone and then today they had pizza. But there was barely enough time to eat the pizza today with the phones ringing off the hook like they were. Luckily I signed up for my lunch at the time the pizza arrived so I got a nice hot slice.

The more I think about it, the more I think that I'll be starting school full time in 2011. This means that I'll be at my job for like 2 years before I'm able to quit, and this thought is kind of freaking me out these days. On the one hand this is a good job in many ways for a student, especially since I don't have to take my work home like I have in other mental health/ counseling jobs. But on the other, hearing so much misery day in and day out is taking its toll. Not to mention the ergonomic issues that pop up after typing like crazy 32 hours/week. When I worked there 10 years ago, one of the main reasons that I left was due to developing carpal tunnel, which miraculously (I'm being sarcastic here) went away shortly after I quit.

I try to remind myself that at least I have a job, which is a lot more than a lot of people have these days. And there is relative job security where I am as well. The pay is decent for the type of work that it is and I can pick up extra shifts to make more money pretty much whenever I want to. I'm trying my hardest to think positive, but it sure is hard to do some days. Especially Black Friday.

Registration time

You would think that during the most stressful time of the semester, the lead up to finals, that the school would do what it can to ease the stress level of its students. But no, of course it can't be that way and they have to throw in registration for next semester in on top of all of the preparations for final exams.

Why is registration so stressful you might wonder? I mean it is a LOT easier than it used to be when I was first in undergrad. I remember going into this giant gymnasium filled with tables that all had signs and lists. You had to wander around, find the list of the class that you wanted to take and hope that the list was not filled up. There were long lines, lots of waiting around, as well as just general chaos and confusion. Now of course with the internet it's a lot easier, but it's not without frustration.

Portland Community College does its registration on a seniority kind of basis, in 4 groups. The groups can sign up at 4 starting points on registration day: 8AM, 10AM, 12PM and 2PM. If you have an associates from PCC or have taken a ton of credits, you can sign up for the next semester at 8AM. The other time slots are all based on how many credits you have taken at PCC. If you have taken 9 credits or less, you get the last time slot. I have 9 credits, so I was 1 credit shy of getting into the 3rd group. So I got online right at 2PM, went to sign up for the Nutrition class and was denied for every single section. All the waiting lists were full and closed as well.

With the economy being what it is and so many people trying to get into the healthcare field, as well as many healthcare programs having the same pre-requisites, there is some competition to get into these classes. I managed to get signed up for my Anatomy and Physiology class ok, but I tried signing up for nutrition last semester and this semester with the same results.

So what to do? Well I have a couple of options. One is that I went ahead and registered for Microbiology. I don't really want to take that together with another science class, but figured it would be good to have a backup. I may try to take the nutrition class at another community college that has less enrollment. The other 2 community colleges are out in the suburbs, but the course is online, so I don't physically have to go anywhere to attend class. Or I might go and beg an advisor to see if there is anything that can be done. Perhaps I should show up to the orientation session for the online class and beg the teacher to let me in? I'm not sure what I'll do, but I've got to do something because I REALLY don't want to take Micro with A&P. I need to get A's in my pre-reqs and taking 2 intensive science classes in the same semester is not the way to reach that goal.

So we'll see what happens...I'm sure it will all work out. I just have to take a deep breath and not get frustrated by the obstacles because this journey sure is full of them. Is it worth it? Only time will tell.

Study time

In the class syllabus that I got, my Anatomy and Physiology teacher said the following:

"It is important that you maximize your study time. It is common for a person to put in 2 hours of studying for every hour of class time."

So I have class Tue/Thu from 6PM-9PM (approximately, there are breaks in there between lab and lecture). That's 3 hours per day, 6 hours per week. Per my teacher's advice, I should be studying 12 hours/week. How much am I really studying?

I would say that I put in at least 20 hours of studying per week for my A&P class, sometimes up to 30 hours per week. Luckily my Human Development class doesn't require a lot of work, so my homework time is minimal. This, on top of 32 hours/week of working adds up to a lot of my time being occupied.

Today for example, I've put in at least 6 hours of studying. Tomorrow I plan to put in another 5-6. I have a lecture and a lab quiz tomorrow and need to get A's in both. This means lots of studying. I sure am looking forward to Christmas break when I'll just have work and no studying during my off time!